Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Funniest Line in the Movie: Throwdown Nominations

It's tiiiiiiiime for another throwdown here on the P&P95Forever Club!  Miss Marianne and I have been rather absent from the Club of late, we know (though we HAVE been together in real life, for two weeks in fact, and it was just as amazing as we'd hoped) but we're hoping to make a stunning comeback over the next couple of months.  So here's to new games and new fun and new posts and a whole sequence of continual delights!

Our get-back-in-the-game activity is to be a throwdown-- and we need your help!  Simply leave a comment nominating your favorite funny line of dialogue in P&P95.  We'll collect all the nominations and post a poll on Monday, April 21st for everyone to vote in.

Some guidelines...
~Please submit no more than three separate nominations.
~All nominations must be kept to no more than two exchanges-- that is, Character A says such and such and Character B says so and so, end of exchange.  Big chunks of dialogue will not be accepted.  One-liners are ideal.  :D
~Submissions must be from P&P95.  Obviously.  :P
~You can check the transcribed screenplay here to make sure your quotes are accurate (keep in mind that this script is not an authorized copy and is not entirely perfect).
~If a quote is submitted twice, we will list it only once in the poll.
~Have fun!


Naomi Bennet said...

Yesssss!!! At last another post! I cannot describe my delight!
All right I shall try to do ONLY three. It shall be hard, but I shall try.

1. An unhappy alternative is before you Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr Collins. And... I will never see you again if you do.

2. No one knows what I suffer with my nerves. But then I never complain.

3. You take delight in vexing me! (sorry, but I think this is funny)

Thank you for posting!

Reyna Nicole said...

Since Miss Naomi already nominated a few of my favorites, I had to think hard to come up with three more. ;)

1. No lace, no lace, Mrs. Bennet, I beg you!

2. Ah, you look very well, Lizzy! You will NEVER be as pretty as your sister Jane, but I will say you look very well indeed.

3. Lizzy! Lizzy! Come into the dining room, for there is such a sight to be seen! Make haste!

Thanks you so much for this post and for all of the 'continual delights' to come!

Evie Scott said...

Three... hmmmmmmm Naomi and Reyna have covered most of my favourites but I will try

"Shelves in the closest a happy thought indeed"

(I don't know why I find that funny, probably because of the way Lizzy says it, sort of sarcastically. :D)

"And now the mother! Are we to be invaded by every Bennet in the country? It's too much to
be borne!"


"Oh, Mr Bennet!"
That one just makes me laugh :)

Thanks for a lovely idea Miss's Dashwoods :)

Kiri Liz said...

I have to second Naomi and say for #1 Mr. Bennet's epic line: "An unhappy alternative is before you Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr Collins. And... I will never see you again if you do."

Then.... Mr. Bennet: "May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are they the result of previous study?"

And finally, my third nomination: Elizabeth: "It is a very handsome building, and prettily situated, sir. And by no means lacking in windows."

Katrina @ Edelweiss Patterns said...

I'm afraid I only have one to post, as I think it's one of the funniest quotes in all of British literature. (Better one clever thing than three things very dull indeed, right?) ;)

1. "But then, he may *prefer* a stupid wife, as others have done before him." - Mr. Bennet

Most epic line EVER. :)

Kerry said...

Although it is longer than the rules allow, the dialogue that makes me smile is:

Darcy: And where are you staying? Elizabeth: At the inn at Lambton. Darcy: Ah, yes, of course.

The awkwardness that is portrayed in the movie is hilarious. :)

Heidi ~ Lady of Anorien said...

Such fun! And only three???!!! Ah, well...I shall play fair. :-) A lot of the humor of mine are wrapped up in the intonation and expression as they're said, but that's probably actually the way it is with a lot of the quotes...and since we all know and love P&P95 (else why would we all be here?) that shouldn't matter...should it??? :-)

All right, here are mine, I think they're pretty much word for word correct:

Elizabeth: We each have an unsocial, taciturn disposition, unwilling to speak unless
we expect to say something that will amaze the whole room.
Darcy: This is no very striking resemblance of your own character, I am sure.

Mrs. Gardiner: And just as handsome as in his portrait, though perhaps a little less formally attired.
Elizabeth: Oh, we must leave here at once!

Bingley: Then . . . I have your blessing?
Darcy: Do you need my blessing?

Oh! And question: if we submitted entries do we still get to vote?

Hannu Heino said...

I'm too late!
Such fine examples of funny lines have been posted already, but I'll add some more:

Lady Catherine: ”And if I had ever learnt, I should be a true proficient.”

Mr Collins: "Resignation is never so perfect as when the blessing denied begins to lose some part of its value in our estimation."

Elizabeth: "Yes, ’tis truly a very cruel deprivation. Indeed, I hardly know how I shall bear the loss of Lady Catherine’s company."
Mr Collins: "You feel it keenly! Yes, of course you do, my poor young cousin."

Lydia said...

1) Mrs Bennet: No, no, Jane, how can you say that? You heard him yourself, and you know that your father
has a will of iron.

Mr Bennet: You're in the right, my dear. But I'll tell you what I'll do. I shall write to Mr Bingley,
informing him that I have five daughters, and he’s welcome to any of them that he chooses.
They're all silly and ignorant like other girls; well, Lizzy has a little more wit than the rest.
But then, he may prefer a stupid wife, as others have done before him. There, will that do?

2) Mr Bennet: You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They’ve been my old friends
these twenty years at least.

And my personal favorite:
3) Tell him what a dreadful state I am in: that I am frightened out of my wits -- and have such tremblings, such flutterings, all over me -- such spasms in my side and pains in my head, and such beatings at heart, that I can get no rest by night nor by day.

Lizzie said...

"You will never play *really* well, Miss Bennet, unless you *practice* more." - Lady Catherine
I love this one... I use it to inspire myself to practice the piano more often. ;)

Miss Marianne said...

Thank you for your nominations, everyone! The submission period is now ended.