Funniest Lines Throwdown: Winner!

The people have spoken (er, voted) and the funniest line in P&P95 is...

"An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr Collins... and I will never see you again if you do."

~Mr. Bennet, episode 2

Hip hip hooray and a big thank-you to everyone who voted!

Funniest Line Throwdown: Round Two

We are delighted to see that the Funniest Line throwdown seems to be going rather well-- thank you to all who participated in the polling last week!  Our Final Four quotes have been chosen, and humorously enough, three of the four come from Mr. Bennet.  The man is witty indeed.  :D  Please vote in the poll on the sidebar for your favorite (one vote per visitor, please) and come back on Saturday for the announcement of the winner!  In the meantime we hope to have a fun little surprise for you appearing on the blog, so keep a lookout.   :D

#1:  "An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr Collins... and I will never see you again if you do." ~Mr. Bennet

#2:  "Shelves in the closet!  Happy thought indeed."  ~Elizabeth

#3:  "You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They’ve been my old friends these twenty years at least." ~Mr. Bennet

#4:  "May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are they the result of previous study?" ~Mr. Bennet

Funniest Line Throwdown: Round One

Due to the enthusiastic response to last week's nomination opening, this throwndown is turning into a two-parter.  Today there will be two polls to vote on, and the polls will be up through Saturday. Then on Monday the 28th, the winners of those polls will go against each other to determine the final Winning Quote.  The result will be posted Saturday May 3rd.

Without further ado, here are the lines we'll be voting on-- and to answer someone's question, if you made a nomination you are certainly still welcome to vote now. :)

Please read through this post first, as it has all the complete quotes, and where you vote on the sidebar, they will be condensed for the sake of space.

Poll One: 

#1:  "An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr Collins... and I will never see you again if you do." ~Mr. Bennet

#2: "Ah, you look very well, Lizzy! You will never be as pretty as your sister Jane, but I will say you look very well indeed." ~Mrs. Bennet

#3:  Bingley: Then... I have your blessing?
       Darcy: Do you need my blessing?

#4: "Oh, Mr Bennet!" ~Mrs. Bennet

#5:  Maria Lucas: Lizzy! Lizzy! Come into the dining room, for there is such a sight to be seen! Make haste!
       Lizzy: Is this all? I thought at least that the pigs had got into the garden!

#6: "Shelves in the closet!  Happy thought indeed."  ~Elizabeth

#7: "No one knows what I suffer with my nerves. But then I never complain!" ~Mrs. Bennet

#8: "You will never play really well, Miss Bennet, unless you practice more." ~Lady Catherine

#9:  "I'll tell you what I'll do. I shall write to Mr Bingley, informing him that I have five daughters, and he’s welcome to any of them that he chooses. They're all silly and ignorant like other girls; well, Lizzy has a little more wit than the rest." ~Mr. Bennet

#10: "But then, he may *prefer* a stupid wife, as others have done before him." ~Mr. Bennet (Sort of a continuation of the quote above.)

#11: "No lace, no lace, Mrs. Bennet, I beg you!" ~Mr. Bennet

#12: Darcy: And where are you staying?
       Elizabeth: At the inn at Lambton.
       Darcy: Ah, yes, of course.  (Also known as "Ohyesocourse.")

Poll Two: 

1) Elizabeth: We each have an unsocial, taciturn disposition, unwilling to speak unless we expect to say something that will amaze the whole room.
   Darcy: This is no very striking resemblance of your own character, I am sure.

2) "You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They’ve been my old friends these twenty years at least." ~Mr. Bennet

3)  "Resignation is never so perfect as when the blessing denied begins to lose some part of its value in our estimation." ~Mr. Collins

4) "It is a very handsome building, and prettily situated, sir. And by no means lacking in windows." ~Elizabeth

5) "You take delight in vexing me! You have no compassion on my poor nerves!"

6) "There are few people in England, I suppose, who have more true enjoyment in music than
myself, or a better taste. And if I had ever learnt, I should be a true proficient. And so would Anne!” ~Lady Catherine

7) Mrs. Gardiner: And just as handsome as in his portrait, though perhaps a little less formally attired.
    Elizabeth: Oh, we must leave here at once!

8) "You must tell him what a dreadful state I'm in. How I have such tremblings and flutterings all over me, such spasms in my side, and pains in my head, and beatings at heart, that I can get no rest either night or day!" ~Mrs. Bennet

9) Elizabeth: Yes, ’tis truly a very cruel deprivation. Indeed, I hardly know how I shall bear the loss of Lady Catherine’s company.
    Mr Collins: You feel it keenly! Yes, of course you do, my poor young cousin!

10) "May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are they the result of previous study?" ~Mr. Bennet

11) "And now the mother! Are we to be invaded by every Bennet in the country? It's too much to
be borne!" ~Caroline Bingley

Funniest Line in the Movie: Throwdown Nominations

It's tiiiiiiiime for another throwdown here on the P&P95Forever Club!  Miss Marianne and I have been rather absent from the Club of late, we know (though we HAVE been together in real life, for two weeks in fact, and it was just as amazing as we'd hoped) but we're hoping to make a stunning comeback over the next couple of months.  So here's to new games and new fun and new posts and a whole sequence of continual delights!

Our get-back-in-the-game activity is to be a throwdown-- and we need your help!  Simply leave a comment nominating your favorite funny line of dialogue in P&P95.  We'll collect all the nominations and post a poll on Monday, April 21st for everyone to vote in.

Some guidelines...
~Please submit no more than three separate nominations.
~All nominations must be kept to no more than two exchanges-- that is, Character A says such and such and Character B says so and so, end of exchange.  Big chunks of dialogue will not be accepted.  One-liners are ideal.  :D
~Submissions must be from P&P95.  Obviously.  :P
~You can check the transcribed screenplay here to make sure your quotes are accurate (keep in mind that this script is not an authorized copy and is not entirely perfect).
~If a quote is submitted twice, we will list it only once in the poll.
~Have fun!

Game the Thirty-Sixth: Another Quote Quiz

Our game today features ten quotes from various episodes of P&P-- your job is to identify the speaker and the episode from which the quote comes.  No peeking in the quotes pages on this blog!  If you need help identifying where one episode ends and another begins, check out the screencaps posts.  You will receive one point for each correctly guessed character and one for each correctly guessed episode-- maximum score is twenty points.   You only get one chance to guess, so think carefully before submitting your answers.  Have fun!

1.
Consider that it is by no means certain that another offer of marriage may be made to you.


2.
My dear, do not give way to such gloomy thoughts. Let us hope for better things.


3.
If it is merely a shooting party, we shall not see him often.


4.
I believe every disposition has a tendency to some particular evil.


5.
The chances of any of us making a good marriage were never very great; and now I should say, they are nonexistent.



6.
What have you to accuse him of? I should dearly like to know how he behaves among strangers.


7.
And this must be a most inconvenient sitting-room for the evening in summer. Why, the windows are full west.


8.
For a woman's reputation is no less brittle than it is beautiful. Therefore we cannot be too guarded in our behavior towards the undeserving of the other sex.


9.
Resignation is never so perfect, as when the blessing denied begins to lose somewhat of its value in our estimation.


10.
Well, my comfort is, she will die of a broken heart and then he'll be sorry for what he's done!

Game - Special Edition for P&P's Bicentennial

Hello, hello, hello! Today, in case some of you don't know, is a very important day in the world of literature geeks, especially Janeites, and more especially P&P fans; because exactly 200 years ago on this very date a wonderful thing happened: P&P was published. One of the best-loved stories ever was for the first time released and ready to go out there and change the world.

I mean, what would life be without Jane Austen's brilliant stories? I hate to imagine. Though this was her second book to be published, it is a day to be much celebrated because... hello, people, Pride and Prejudice!!!! Yes, I think you get the point.

Now. As I'm sure you have observed, we do a game every Monday. Well, it just so happens that January 28th is a Monday; how is that for coincidence? I knew I couldn't let this opportunity pass me by, and Miss Dashwood and I agreed that today's game would certainly have to be something special. Sooo... here is what's been come up with. It's a combination of several little games, to make a big Celebratory Activity.

The first section will be completely P&P95, since it will have to do with pictures from the movie. The second section will be an unscramble game, and the names and words could come from either the book or P&P95 (since the latter is so much like the former, and that is why we love it). The third and fourth sections will, in honor of the day, be completely based on the book. I trust, however, that you have all read it; and even if you have not, being a P&P95 fan might help you in some cases since it is such a faithful adaptation. But I'll explain more later. The fifth section is going to be a poll/throwdown, the results of which will be included in the Answers post...

...which will be published on Saturday, as usual (which is February 2nd). Answers will be accepted through Friday.

Now, friends and fans, I've rambled on long enough, so... here be the festivities! Hope you have fun! (Oh, and one more thing: all the answers are worth two points each, which make a total of 80 if you get everything right; I wish it was 100, but I couldn't finagle that.)

Hat Game
For this game, there will be pictures below of hats worn by ladies in P&P95. Your job is to identify which ladies are wearing which hats. I rather stole this idea from Miss Laurie, who does think of such good games! I do hope the strange blacked-out faces are not spooky. :P Personally I find them amusing. I was contemplating adding white mustaches, but thought that might be going a little too far....
You may guess more than once.
{Note: Don't forget you can click on the images if you want to see them full-sized.}

    

                                                #ONE                                             #TWO

                                               #THREE                                           #FOUR

                                                  #FIVE                                               #SIX

                                             #SEVEN                                           #EIGHT

                                              #NINE                                                #TEN
So, which hat is your favorite? ;) I like 4 and 5...


Unscramble Game
This shouldn't take much explaining... just unscramble the words. ;) If you want to know any particulars, do ask. I'll give you the hint that they are all either character's names (first and last or title and last) or places, and the names will not be very main characters. You need more of a challenge than that. ;-)
You may guess more than once.

11. MYOTENR
12. MURSA  LAAIC
13. BTHRIOGN
14. HRITEOR  FERRSTA
15. ATUH  PNIISPL
16. HESHERFTODRRI
17. MOG.  YRUSNE
18. DRBEEYHSIR
19. GRTREE  GENAN
20. LSAOTR  HIUSU 


Book Quote Game
Here is a list of quotes which, shockingly enough, are not included in the movie. (Well, they can't get them all, I s'pose...) It is your duty to guess which characters said them.
You may have second chances on guessing, but only that.

21. "His pride does not offend me so much as pride often does, because there is an excuse for it. One cannot wonder that so very fine a young man, with family, fortune, everything in his favour, should think highly of himself. If I may so express it, he has a right to be proud."

22. "Follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies do divert me, I own, and I laugh at them whenever I can."

23. "A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment."

24. "I declare I do not know a more awful object than Darcy, on particular occasions and in particular places; at his own house especially, and of a Sunday evening when he has nothing to do."

25. "Laugh as much as you choose, but you will not laugh me out of my opinion."

26. "I cannot talk of books in a ballroom; my head is always full of something else."

27. "Those who do not complain are never pitied."

28. "I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of anything than of a book! When I have a house of my own, I shall be miserable if I do not have an excellent library."

29. "Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure."

30. "I am the happiest creature in the world. Perhaps other people have said so before, but not one with such justice."

Trivia Quiz
This is based entirely on the book. Some of the answers may be accurate with both P&P95 and the book, but some may not. After all, we're celebrating the book's anniversary here!
You can answer each question only once, but if you want a while to think on some, feel free to leave them blank and come back later.

31. In his letter to Elizabeth, does Mr. Darcy speak first of his dealings with Mr. Wickham, or of dividing Mr. Bingley from Jane?

32. "He was directly invited to join their party, but he declined it, observing that he could imagine but two motives for their chusing to walk up and down the room together, with either of which motives his joining them would interfere." What were the two alleged motives that Miss Bingley insisted Mr. Darcy explain?

33. What are three names of houses/estates in P&P? (Excluding Pemberley--sorry, folks, that one's too easy.)

34. How many attempts did it take Mrs. Bennet to successfully arrange for Mr. Bingley to propose to Jane?

35. How many of the Bennet sisters draw?

36. Did Lady Catherine ever visit Pemberley after Mr. Darcy was married--or, I should say, once the shades of Pemberley were thus polluted?

37. Put these events in the correct order, (numbered, if you don't mind):
-The ball at Netherfield
-Mr. Darcy's first proposal
-Mr. Darcy's second proposal
-Visit to Derbyshire and Pemberley
-Meryton Assembly (where everyone first sees Mr. Bingley and his party)
-Mr. Collins's proposal to Lizzy
-Mr. Bingley's proposal to Jane
-Lydia's Elopement

38. Mr. Gardiner said Mr. Bennet would be expected to pay how many pounds per annum (during his life) upon Lydia's marriage to Mr. Wickham?

39. Who has joint guardianship with Mr. Darcy of Georgiana?

40. Here's a pretty obscure one... when does Elizabeth first realize that Mr. Collins is paying her attentions, and fears a proposal of marriage?

Poll: Which is your favorite first name from the following list of female characters in P&P? (Vote on the sidebar)
~Caroline
~Catherine
~Charlotte
~Elizabeth
~Georgiana
~Jane
~Kitty (Catherine is also an option)
~Louisa
~Lydia
~Maria
~Mary

So... let's hear it for P&P!!!!! :D

Memorable Quotes from Episode Six

I'm heartily ashamed of myself, Lizzy. But don't despair, it will pass... and no doubt more quickly than it should.
~Mr. Bennet


Mrs. Bennet: Oh, but if they are to leave Brighton, they should come to Hertfordshire and reside in the neighborhood. Haye Park might do, if the Goldings would quit it. Or the great house at Stoke, if the drawing-rooms were larger.
Kitty: Or Purvis Lodge!
Mrs. Bennet: Oh, no dear, not Purvis Lodge! The attics there are dreadful!
Mr. Bennet: Mrs. Bennet, before you take any, or all of these houses, let us come to a right understanding. Into one house in the neighborhood they shall never have admittance. Mr. and Mrs. Wickham will never be welcome to Longbourn.


Lydia: How do you like my husband, Lizzy? I believe you envy me. Was he not a favorite of yours once?
Elizabeth: Not at all, I assure you.
Lydia: A pity we didn't all go to Brighton. I could have got husbands for all my sisters!
Elizabeth: Thank you for my share of the favor, but I don't particularly like your way of getting husbands.


Oh, come, Mr. Wickham, we are brother and sister, you know. Let us not quarrel about the past.
~Elizabeth


He's as fine a fellow as ever I saw! He simpers and smirks, and makes love to us all. Oh, I am prodigiously proud of him. I defy even Sir William Lucas himself to produce such a son-in-law.
~Mr. Bennet


Jane: No, I do assure you, this news does not affect me, truly, Lizzy.  I am glad of one thing--that he doesn't bring any ladies. If it is merely a shooting party, we shall not see him often. Not that I am afraid of myself... but I dread other people's remarks, Lizzy.
Elizabeth: Then I shall venture none...however sorely I am tempted. After all, it is hard that the poor man can't come to a house he's legally rented without raising all this speculation.
Jane: That is just what I think.
Elizabeth: Then we shall leave him to himself.
Jane: Yes.
(Elizabeth stands there looking amused)
Jane: Stop it, Lizzy.


Mrs. Bennet: Three days he has been in the neighborhood, and still he shuns us! I say it's all your father's fault! He would not do his duty and call, so you shall die old maids, and we shall be turned out by the Collinses to starve in the hedgerows!
Mr. Bennet: You promised last year that if I went to see him, he'd marry one of my daughters, and it all it all came to nothing, and I won't be sent on a fool's errand again!


Mr. Bingley: You tell me now that she was in London all those months? And you concealed it from me?
Mr. Darcy: Yes. I can offer no justification. It was an arrogant presumption, based on a failure to recognize your true feelings...and Miss Bennet's. I should never have interfered. It was very wrong of me, Bingley, and I apologize.
Mr. Bingley: You admit that you were in the wrong?
Mr. Darcy: Utterly and completely.
Mr. Bingley: Then...I have your blessing?
Mr. Darcy: Do you need my blessing?
Mr. Bingley: No....but I should like to know I have it all the same.
Mr. Darcy: Then go to it.
Bingley: (To a servant) Bring me my horse at once.  Quick, man!


Kitty: What's the matter, Mamma? Why do you keep winking at me? What am I to do?
Mrs. Bennet: Wink at you? Why should I wink at you, child? What a notion! Why should I be winking at my own daughter, pray? But now you ask, it puts me in mind. I do have something I would speak to you about.


Mr. Bennet: Jane, congratulations. You will be a very happy woman.
Jane: Thank you, father. I believe I shall.
Mr. Bennet: Well, well, you're a good girl. And I've no doubt you'll do very well together. You're each of you so complying that nothing will ever be resolved on...
Jane: Papa!
Mr. Bennet: So easy that every servant will cheat you...
Jane: No, indeed!
Mr. Bennet: And so generous that you will exceed your income.
Mrs. Bennet: Exceed their income! What are you talking about? Don't you know that he has 5,000 a year?!


Jane: Oh, Lizzy. If only I could see you as happy. If there were only such another man for you.
Elizabeth: If you were to give me forty such men...I could never be as happy as you. Till I have your goodness, I can never have your happiness. But...perhaps if I have very good luck, I may in time meet with another Mr. Collins!


Lady Catherine: You have a very small park here. And this must be a most inconvenient sitting-room for the evening in summer. Why, the windows are full west.
Mrs. Bennet: Indeed they are, your ladyship, but we never sit in here after dinner. We have...
Lady Catherine: Miss Bennet. There seemed to be a prettyish kind of little wilderness on one side of your lawn. I should be glad to take a turn in it...if you would favor me with your company.


Lady Catherine: You can be at no loss to understand the reason for my journey, Miss Bennet.
Elizabeth: Indeed, you are mistaken, madam. I am quite unable to account for the honor of seeing you here.
Lady Catherine: Miss Bennet, you ought to know I am not to be trifled with. But however insincere you choose to be, you shall not find me so.  A report of an alarming nature reached me two days ago. I was told, not only that your sister was to be most advantageously married, but that you, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, would be soon afterwards united to my own nephew Mr Darcy! Though I know it must be a scandalous falsehood,  I instantly resolved on setting off for this place, to make my sentiments known to you.
Elizabeth: If you believed it to be impossible, I wonder you took the trouble of coming so far.  What would your ladyship propose by it?
Lady Catherine: At once to insist upon having such a report universally contradicted!
Elizabeth: Your coming to Longbourn to see me will be taken as a confirmation of it, if indeed such a report exists.
Lady Catherine: This is not to be borne!


Lady Catherine: Obstinate, headstrong girl! I'm ashamed of you. I have not been in the habit of brooking disappointment!
Elizabeth: That will make your ladyship's situation at present more pitiable, but it will have no effect on me.
Lady Catherine: I will not be interrupted! If you were sensible of your own good, you would not wish to quit the sphere in which you have been brought up.
Elizabeth: Lady Catherine, in marrying your nephew I should not consider myself as quitting that sphere.  He is a gentleman, I am a gentleman's daughter. So far we are equal.


Are the shades of Pemberley to be thus polluted?
~Lady Catherine


Lady Catherine: You, you have no regard then, for the honor and credit of my nephew? Unfeeling, selfish girl! You refuse to oblige me. You refuse the claims of duty, honor, gratitude.  You are determined to ruin him, and make him the contempt of the world!
Elizabeth: I am only resolved to act in a manner which will constitute my own happiness, without reference to you, or to any person so wholly unconnected with me.
Lady Catherine: And this is your final resolve? Very well, I shall know how to act.  --I take no leave of you, Miss Bennet. I send no compliments to your mother. You deserve no such attention.  I am most seriously displeased.


Mr. Bennet: Mr Darcy, you see, is the man. Mr Darcy of all men!  Who never looks at a woman except to see a blemish! Are you not diverted?
Elizabeth: Oh, yes.
Mr. Bennet: Mr Darcy, who probably never looked at you in his life before! This is admirable! But Lizzy, you look as if you didn't enjoy it. You're not going to be missish now, and pretend to be affronted by an idle report?
Elizabeth: Oh, no, no, I am excessively diverted. But it is all so strange.


Well, well, what do we live for, but to make sport for our neighbors, and laugh at them in our turn?
~Mr. Bennet


Elizabeth: Mr Darcy. I can go no longer without thanking you for your kindness to my poor sister. Ever since I have known of it, I've been most anxious to tell you how grateful I am, for my family and for myself. You must not blame my aunt for telling me. Lydia betrayed it first, and then I couldn't rest till I knew everything. I know what trouble and what mortification it must have cost you.  Please let me say this, please allow me to thank you, on behalf of all my family, since they don't know to whom they are indebted.
Mr. Darcy: If you will thank me, let it be for yourself alone. Your family owes me nothing. As much as I respect them, I believe I thought only of you. (Pause) You're too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are what they were last April, tell me so at once. (Pause) My affections and wishes are unchanged. But one word from you will silence me on this subject forever.
Elizabeth: Oh, my feelings... My feelings are... I am ashamed to remember what I said then. My feelings are so different. In fact, they are quite the opposite.


No, I have been a selfish being all my life. As a child I was given good principles, but was left to follow them in pride and conceit.  And such I might still have been, but for you. Dearest, loveliest Elizabeth!
~Mr. Darcy


Jane: Engaged to Mr Darcy! No, you are joking. It is impossible!
Elizabeth: This is a wretched beginning! If you don't believe me, I'm sure no one else will.  Indeed, I am in earnest. He still loves me, and we are engaged.
Jane: No, Lizzy, it can't be true. I know how much you dislike him!
Elizabeth: Oh, no. It is all forgotten! Perhaps I didn't always love him as well as I do now.  But.. in such cases as these a good memory is unpardonable.
Jane:  Dearest Lizzy, do be serious. How long have you loved him?
Elizabeth: Well, it's been coming on so gradually, I hardly know. But I believe I must date it from my first seeing his beautiful grounds at Pemberley!


Mr. Bennet: Are you out of your senses to be accepting this man, Lizzy? Have you not always hated him?
Elizabeth: Papa...
Mr. Bennet: I've given him my consent. He's the kind of man, indeed, to whom I should never dare refuse anything. But let me advise you to think the better of it. I know your disposition, Lizzy.  My child, let me not have the grief of seeing you unable to respect your partner in life. He's rich, but will he make you happy?
Elizabeth: Have you objections apart from your belief in my indifference?
Mr. Bennet: None whatever. We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of man, but this would be nothing if you really liked him.


Mrs. Bennet: Three daughters married! Oh, Mr Bennet, God has been very good to us!
Mr. Bennet: Yes, so it would seem.

Memorable Quotes from Episode Five

These quotes have been scrupulously collected and checked, but please do let us know if you see any mistakes.

Georgiana: Will you not play again? You played that song so beautifully.
Elizabeth: Not very beautifully, not faithfully at all.  You must have seen how I fudged and slurred my way through the difficult passages.  It is a beautiful instrument, though.
Georgiana: My brother gave it to me.  He is so good. I don't deserve it.
Elizabeth: Oh, I am sure you do. Your brother thinks you do, and as you know, he is never wrong.


Caroline Bingley: Pray, Miss Eliza, are the Militia still quartered at Meryton?
Elizabeth: No, they are encamped at Brighton for the summer.
Miss Bingley: That must be a great loss for your family.
Elizabeth: We're enduring it as best we can, Miss Bingley.
Miss Bingley: I should have thought one gentleman's absence might have caused particular pangs.
Elizabeth: I can't imagine who you mean.
Miss Bingley: I understood that certain ladies found the society of Mr Wickham curiously agreeable.


Miss Bingley: How very ill Eliza Bennet looked this evening! I've never in my life seen anyone so much altered as she is since the winter.
Louisa Hurst: Quite so, my dear.
Miss Bingley: She is grown so brown and coarse.  Louisa and I were agreeing that we should hardly know her. What do you say, Mr Darcy?
Mr. Darcy: I noticed no great difference. She is, I suppose, a little tanned. Hardly surprising when one travels in the summer.
Miss Bingley:  Mmm...for my part, I must confess, I never saw any beauty in her face. Her features are not at all handsome. Her complexion has no brilliancy. Oh, her teeth are tolerable, I suppose, but...nothing out of the common way. (Chuckles) And as for her eyes, which I have sometimes heard called fine,  I could never perceive anything extraordinary in them. And in her air altogether there's a self-sufficiency without fashion, which I find intolerable.
Mr. Bingley: I think--
Miss Bingley: I remember when we first knew her in Hertfordshire, how amazed we all were to find her a reputed beauty! I particularly recall you, Mr Darcy, one night after they'd been dining at Netherfield, saying: "She a beauty? I should as soon call her mother a wit!" Oh! But afterwards she seemed to improve on you. I even believe you thought her rather pretty at one time.
Mr. Darcy: Yes, I did. That was only when I first knew her.  For it has been many months since I have considered her one of the handsomest women of my acquaintance.


Miss Bingley: You are very quiet this evening, Mr Darcy. I sincerely hope you are not pining for the loss of Miss Eliza Bennet.
Mr. Darcy: What?!


Mrs. Bennet: And now here is Mr Bennet gone away.  And I know he will fight Wickham, and then he will be killed, and then what is to become of us all?  Those Collinses will turn us out before he is cold in his grave! And if you are not kind to us, brother, I don't know what we shall do!
Mr. Gardiner: Sister, calm down. Nothing dreadful will happen. I shall be in London tomorrow morning, and then we will consult as to what is best to be done.
Mrs. Bennet: Yes, yes, that is it! You must find them out, and if they be not married, you must make them marry. But above all, keep Mr Bennet from fighting!
Jane: Mamma, I am sure he does not mean to fight.
Mrs. Bennet: Oh yes, yes he does! And, and Wickham will kill him for sure, unless you can prevent it, brother!  You must tell him what a dreadful state I'm in! How I have such tremblings and flutterings all over me. Such spasms in my side and pains in my head and beatings at my heart, that I can get no rest either night or day!
Mr. Gardiner: Sister, calm yourself!


Mary: This is the most unfortunate affair, and will probably be much talked of.
Elizabeth: Yes, thank you, Mary. I think we have all apprehended that much.
Mary: We must stem the tide of malice, and pour into each other's wounded bosoms the balm of sisterly consolation.

Mary: Unhappy as the event must be for Lydia,  we must draw from it this useful lesson: that loss of virtue in a female is irretrievable.
Mrs. Gardiner: My dear Mary, this is hardly helpful.
Mary: For a woman's reputation is no less brittle than it is beautiful. Therefore we cannot be too guarded in our behavior towards the undeserving of the other sex.
Elizabeth: Yes... thank you, Mary.


Jane: Lizzy, I feel I am to blame. For it was I who urged you not to make Wickham's bad conduct known, and now poor Lydia is suffering for it.  No one else suspected him for a moment. I am, I am to blame!
Elizabeth: You are not to blame. No more than I, or Mr Darcy or anyone else deceived by Wickham. You have nothing to blame yourself for. Others are culpable, not you.


Jane: I've been thinking about what you said this afternoon. That it is not only Lydia's reputation that has been ruined.
Elizabeth: I was angry and upset. I should not have said it. It does no good to dwell on it.
Jane: You meant, I suppose, that you and I, and Mary and Kitty, have been tainted by association. That our chances of making a good marriage have been materially damaged by Lydia's disgrace.
Elizabeth: The chances of any of us making a good marriage were never very great; and now I should say, they are nonexistent. No one will solicit our society after this. Mr Darcy made that very clear to me.
Jane: Mr Darcy? Does he know our troubles?
Elizabeth: He happened upon me a moment after I first read your letter. He was very kind, very gentlemanlike... but he made it very clear he wanted nothing more than to be out of my sight. He will not be renewing his addresses to me. He'll make very sure his friend doesn't renew his to you.
Jane: I never expected Mr Bingley would renew his addresses, Lizzy. I am quite reconciled to that. And surely you do not desire Mr Darcy's attentions, do you?
Elizabeth: No, no. I never sought them.
Jane: But you do think he was intending to renew them? You think he is still in love with you?
Elizabeth: I don't know. I don't know what he was two days ago. All I know is that now he, or any other respectable man, will want nothing to do with any of us.


Mr. Collins: The death of your sister would have been a blessing in comparison. And it is more to be lamented, because there is reason to suppose, my dear Charlotte informs me, that this licentiousness of behavior in your sister has proceeded from a faulty degree of indulgence, though I am inclined to think that her disposition must be naturally bad. Now, howsoever that may be, you are grievously to be pitied.
Jane: We are very grateful, sir, for your...
Mr. Collins:  In which opinion I am joined by Lady Catherine de Bourgh and her daughter, to whom I have related the affair in full. They agree with me in apprehending that this false step in one sister must be injurious to the fortunes of all the others. "For who," as Lady Catherine herself condescendingly says, "will connect themselves with such a family?"
Elizabeth: Who, indeed, sir.  Now, perhaps, in view of that consideration, you may feel that it would be unwise to stay any longer now.
Mr. Collins: Well, well, perhaps you are right Yes, perhaps you are right, cousin Elizabeth.
Elizabeth: I always feel that a clergyman cannot be too careful. Especially one so fortunate as to enjoy the condescension and patronage of Lady Catherine de Bourgh.
Mr. Collins: Your thoughtfulness does you credit, cousin Elizabeth. I am very, very sorry for you all!


Elizabeth: Insufferable man!
Jane: I suppose he means well.
Elizabeth: Then you suppose wrongly, Jane. His purpose in coming was to enjoy our misfortunes and congratulate himself on his own happy situation!
Mary: I think it kind of him to visit and condole with us.
Kitty: (Peeking around the corner) Is he gone?
Elizabeth: Yes!
Kitty: (Sighs) Good.
Elizabeth: Forever, with any luck.


Jane: I must take mamma her tea.
Mr. Bennet: She still keeps her state above stairs, does she?  Good. It lends such an elegance to our misfortune. Another time I'll do the same.  I'll sit in my library, in my nightcap and powdering gown, and I'll give as much trouble as I can. Perhaps I may defer it, till Kitty runs away.
Kitty: I'm not going to run away, Papa. If I should go to Brighton, I would behave better than Lydia.
Mr. Bennet: You? Go to Brighton? I wouldn't trust you as near it as Eastbourne. Not for fifty pounds. No, Kitty, I have at last learnt to be cautious, and you will feel the effects of it. No officer is ever to enter my house again. Or even to pass through the village! Balls will be absolutely prohibited, unless you stand up with one of your sisters! And you are never to stir out of doors until you can prove you have spent ten minutes of every day in a rational manner.
(Kitty weeps)
Mr. Bennet: Well, well, well, don't make yourself unhappy, my dear. If you're a good girl for the next ten years, I'll take you to a revue at the end of them.


Elizabeth: How can it be possible he will marry her for so little?
Jane: He must not be undeserving as we thought. He must truly be in love with her, I think.
Mr. Bennet: You think that, Jane, if it gives you comfort.


Elizabeth: I wish I had never spoken a word of this whole affair to Mr Darcy.
Jane: Dear Lizzy, please do not distress yourself. I'm sure Mr Darcy will respect your confidence.
Elizabeth: I'm sure he will. That is not what distresses me.
Jane: What, then?
Elizabeth: I don't know! How he must be congratulating himself on his escape! How he must despise me now.
Jane: But Lizzy, you never sought his love. Nor welcomed it when he offered it. If he has withdrawn his high opinion of you, why should you care?
Elizabeth: I don't know! I can't explain it. I know I shall probably never see him again. I cannot bear to think that he is alive in the world... and thinking ill of me.

Memorable Quotes from Episode Four

Be not alarmed, madam, on receiving this letter, that it contains any repetition of those sentiments or renewal of those offers which were this evening so disgusting to you. But I must be allowed to defend myself against the charges laid at my door. 
~Mr. Darcy 


Mr. Collins: And this is your last invitation, on this visit, at least. 
Elizabeth: It is truly a very cruel deprivation. I hardly know how I shall bear the loss of her ladyship's company.
Mr. Collins: You feel it keenly! Yes, of course you do, my poor young cousin.


Yes, yes, but this is all extremely vexing.  I am QUITE put out!
~Lady Catherine


Mr Collins: Indeed. And now you have witnessed our felicity, perhaps you may think that your friend has 
made a very fortunate alliance. Perhaps more so than ... but on this point it will be as well 
to be silent.
Elizabeth: You are very good.
Mr Collins: Only let me assure you that I can, from my heart, most cordially wish you equal felicity in 
marriage. My dear Charlotte and I have but one mind and one way of thinking. We seem to 
have been designed for each other!


Maria Lucas: Oh, how much I shall have to tell!
Elizabeth: How much I shall have to conceal.


Lydia: There! Is not this nice? Cold ham, and pork, and salads, and every good thing! And we mean to treat you all.  Oh, but you must lend us the money, we spent all ours. Look! (she holds up a bonnet) I don't think it is very pretty, but I thought I might as well buy it as not.
Kitty: It's vile, isn't it, Lizzy?
Elizabeth: Very ugly. What possessed you to buy it, Lydia?
Lydia: Oh, there were two or three much uglier in the shop. I shall pull it to pieces when I get home and see if I can make it up any better.


I shouldn't think he cared three straws about her. Who could about such a nasty freckled little thing?
~Lydia


Lydia: Kitty, you're squashing my bandbox!
Kitty: You should have put it on the roof, there isn't ROOM for it!
Lydia: It's the way you sit.  If you didn't lollop about there'd be room for us all AND the bags.
Kitty: I don't lollop, YOU do!


Jane: But I cannot believe Mr Darcy would fabricate such dreadful slander,and involving his own sister too. No, it must be true. ...Perhaps there has been some terrible mistake.
Elizabeth: No, Jane, it won't do! You will never be able to make them both good! There is just enough merit between them to make one good sort of man. And for my part I'm inclined to believe it's all Mr. Darcy's.


Elizabeth: I think it's a very good thing that the regiment should be removed from Meryton, and that we should be removed from the regiment.
Mrs. Bennet: Oh, Lizzy, how can you say such a thing?
Elizabeth: Very easily, ma'am. If one poor company of militia causes such havoc in our family, what would a whole campful of soldiers do?
Lydia: (Dreamily) A whole campful of soldiers!
Mrs. Bennet: I remember when I was a girl. I cried for two days when Colonel Miller's regiment went away. I thought I should have broke my heart!
Lydia: Well, I'm sure I shall break mine.
Kitty: And I!
Mrs. Bennet:  There, there, my dears. But your father is determined to be cruel.
Mr. Bennet: I confess I am. I'm sorry to be breaking so many hearts, but I have not the smallest intention of yielding.
Mary: I shall not break my heart, papa. The pleasures of Brighton would have no charms for me. I should infinitely prefer a book.
Kitty: Mrs Forster says she plans to go sea-bathing.
Lydia: I am sure I should love to go sea-bathing!
Mrs. Bennet: A little sea-bathing would set me up forever!
Mr. Bennet: And yet, I am unmoved. Well, well. I'm glad you are come back, Lizzy. I'm glad you are come back, Jane.
Lydia: Ooohh! (Lydia stomps) I want to go to Brighton!


Mrs. Bennet: Well, Lizzy, what do you think now about this sad business of Jane's? I cannot find out that
she saw anything of Bingley in London. Well, he is a very undeserving young man! And I don't suppose there's the least chance of her getting him now. If he should come back to Netherfield, though.
Elizabeth: I think there's little chance of that, Mama.
Mrs. Bennet: Oh, well, just as he chooses. No one wants him to come! Though I shall always say he used my daughter extremely ill; and if I was her, I would not have put up with it. Well, my comfort is, she will die of a broken heart and then he'll be sorry for what he's done! So, the Collinses live quite comfortable, do they? Well, I only hope it will last. And I suppose they talk about having this house, too, when your father is dead. They look on it as quite their own, I dare say.
Elizabeth: They could hardly discuss such a subject in front of me, Mamma.
Mrs. Bennet: Well, I make no doubt they talk about it constantly when they're alone.


Elizabeth: Yes! But I think Mr Darcy improves on closer acquaintance.
Wickham: Indeed? In what respect? Has he acquired a touch of civility in his address? For I dare not hope he is improved in essentials.
Elizabeth: No. In essentials I believe he is very much ... as he ever was.
Wickham: Ah.
Elizabeth: I don't mean to imply that either his mind or his manners are changed for the better. Rather, my knowing him better improved my opinion of him.
Wickham: I see.
Mrs. Forster: Wickham! Wickham, come here.
Wickham: At your service, ma'am.
Elizabeth: Yes, go, go. I would not wish you back again.


Lydia: What a laugh if I should fall and break my head!
Kitty: I wish you WOULD!


I shall conquer this.  I SHALL.
~Mr. Darcy


Mrs. Gardiner: I think one would be willing to put up with a good deal to be mistress of Pemberley.
Mr. Gardiner: The mistress of Pemberley will have to put up with a good deal, from what I hear.
Mrs. Gardiner: Well, she's not likely to be anyone we know.


And of all this I might have been mistress.
~Elizabeth


Mrs. Gardiner: This fine account of Darcy is not quite consistent with his behavior to poor Wickham.
Elizabeth: Perhaps we might have been deceived there.
Mrs. Gardiner: That's not likely, is it?


Elizabeth: Mr. Darcy!
Mr. Darcy: Miss Bennet! I ... eh.
Elizabeth: I did not expect to see you, sir. We understood all the family were from home or we should
never have presumed ...
Mr. Darcy: I returned a day early. Excuse me, your parents are in good health?
Elizabeth: Ah, yes, they are very well, I thank you, sir.
Mr. Darcy: I'm glad to hear it. How long have you been in this part of the country?
Elizabeth: But two days, sir.
Mr. Darcy: And where are you staying?
Elizabeth: At the inn at Lambton.
Mr. Darcy: Ah, yes, of course. Um. Well, I . . . I'm just arrived myself. Um. And your parents are in
good health, and all your sisters? Um.
Elizabeth: Yes, they’re all in excellent health, sir.
Mr. Darcy: Excuse me.


Mrs. Gardiner: Is this the proud Darcy you told us of? He’s all ease and friendliness, no false dignity at all!
Elizabeth: I'm as astonished as you are. I can't imagine what has affected this transformation.
Mrs. Gardiner: Can you not?


Mr. Darcy: There’s one other person in the party who more particularly wishes to know you. Will you
allow me to ... do I ask too much to introduce my sister to you during your stay at Lambton?
Elizabeth: I should be very happy to make her acquaintance.

Memorable Quotes from Episode Two

Elizabeth: (speaking of Mr. Collins) But he must be an oddity, don't you think? ... Can he be a sensible man, sir?
Mr. Bennet: Oh, I think not, my dear. Indeed, I have great hopes of finding him quite the reverse.


Mr. Bennet: You seem, uh, very, uh... fortunate in your patroness, sir.
Mr. Collins: Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Indeed I am, sir. I have been treated with such affability, such condescension as I would never have dared to hope for. I have been invited twice to dine at Rosings Park.
Mr. Bennet: That so? Amazing.
Mrs. Bennet: Does she live near you, sir?
Mr. Collins: The garden in which stands my humble abode is separated only by a lane from Rosings Park.
Mr. Bennet: Only a lane, eh? Fancy that, Lizzy!
(Elizabeth gives her father a Look)
Mrs. Bennet: I think you said she was a widow, sir. Has she any family?
Mr. Collins: She has one daughter, ma'am, the heiress of Rosings and of very extensive property.
Mrs. Bennet: And has she been presented at court?
Mr. Collins: She is unfortunately of a sickly constitution which unhappily prevents her being in town. And by that means, as I told Lady Catherine myself one day, she has deprived the British court of its brightest ornament. (Turning to Mr. Bennet) You may imagine, sir, how happy I am on every occasion to offer those delicate little compliments which are always acceptable to ladies.
Mr. Bennet: It is fortunate for you, Mr. Collins, that you possess such an extraordinary talent for flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are they the result of previous study?
(Elizabeth laughs into her napkin)
Mr. Collins: They proceed chiefly from what is passing at the time, sir. I do sometimes amuse myself by writing down and arranging such little compliments as may be adapted to ordinary occasions. But I try to give them as unstudied an air as possible.
Mr. Bennet: Excellent.


Mr. Collins: I must confess myself quite overwhelmed with the charms of your daughters, Mrs. Bennet.
Mrs. Bennet: Oh, you are very kind. They are sweet girls, though I say it myself.
Mr. Collins: Perhaps... especially the eldest Miss Bennet?
Mrs. Bennet: Ah, yes, Jane is admired wherever she goes. But I think I should tell you Mr. Collins, I think it very likely she will be very soon engaged.
Mr. Collins: Ah.
Mrs. Bennet: As for my younger daughters, now if any of them... in their case, I know of no prior attachment at all.

Mr. Collins: You visit your Aunt Philips in Meryton frequently, I understand?
Elizabeth: Yes, she is fond of company, but you'll find her gatherings poor affairs after the splendours of Rosings Park.
Mr. Collins: No, I think not. I believe I possess the happy knack, much to be desired in a clergyman, of adapting myself to every kind of society, whether high or low.


Mr. Wickham: I was amused by your cousin's reference to Lady Catherine de Bourgh. She is Mr. Darcy's aunt, you know, and her daughter, Anne, who will inherit a very large fortune, is destined to be Mr. Darcy's bride.
Elizabeth: Really? (aside)  ...Poor Miss Bingley.


Ah, you look very well, Lizzy!  You will NEVER be as pretty as your sister Jane, but I will say you look very well indeed.
~Mrs. Bennet


Mr. Darcy: If you're not otherwise engaged, would you do me the honor of dancing the next with me, Miss Bennet?
Elizabeth: Why, I... had not... I thank you, yes. (Mr. Darcy bows and leaves; Elizabeth turns to Charlotte) WHY could I not think of an excuse? Hateful man! I promised myself I would never dance with him.


Elizabeth: I believe we must have some conversation, Mr. Darcy.  A very little will suffice. You should say something about the dance, perhaps. I might remark on the number of couples.
Mr. Darcy: Do you talk by rule, then, when you're dancing?
Elizabeth: Yes, sometimes it is best. Then we may enjoy the advantage of saying as little as possible.
Mr. Darcy: Do you consult your own feelings in this case or seek to gratify mine?
Elizabeth: Both, I imagine. We are each of an unsocial taciturn disposition, unwilling to speak unless we expect to say something that will amaze the whole room.
Mr. Darcy: This is no very striking resemblance of your own character, I'm sure.


Elizabeth: I remember hearing you once say that you hardly ever forgave; that your resentment once created was implacable. You are very careful, are you not, in allowing your resentment to be created?
Mr. Darcy: I am.
Elizabeth: And never allow yourself to be blinded by prejudice?
Mr. Darcy: I hope not. May I ask to what these questions tend?
Elizabeth: Merely to the illustration of your character; I am trying to make it out.
Mr. Darcy: And what is your success?
Elizabeth: I do not get on at all. I hear such different accounts of you as to puzzle me exceedingly.
Mr. Darcy: I wish, Miss Bennet, that you would not attempt to sketch my character at the present moment. I fear the performance would reflect no credit on either of us.
Elizabeth: But if I don't take your likeness now, I may never have another opportunity.
Mr. Darcy: I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours.


(Approaches Mary at the piano) That will do extremely well, child. You have delighted us long enough. (lowers voice) Let the other young ladies have time to exhibit!
-Mr. Bennet


Kitty: I thought Mary sang very ill.
Elizabeth: Yes, poor Mary.  But she is determined to do it.


My reasons for marrying are-- first, I think it a right thing for every clergyman to set the example of matrimony in his parish. Secondly, that I am convinced it will add very greatly to my happiness. And thirdly, which perhaps I should have mentioned first, that it is the particular recommendation of my noble patroness Lady Catherine de Bourgh.  "Mr Collins," she said, "you must marry.  Choose properly," she said. "Choose a gentlewoman for my sake, and for your own, let her be an active, useful sort of person, not brought up too high.  Find such a woman as soon as you can, bring her to Hunsford, and I will VISIT her!"
~Mr. Collins


Mr. Collins: My dear Miss Elizabeth, my situation in life, my connection with the noble family of de Bourgh, are circumstances highly in my favor.  Consider that it is by no means certain that another offer of marriage may be made to you. You cannot be serious in your rejection. I must attribute it to your wish of increasing my love by suspense, in the usual manner of elegant females.
Elizabeth: I assure you, sir, that I have no pretensions to the kind of elegance which consists in tormenting a respectable man. I thank you for the honor of your proposals, but to accept them is absolutely impossible. My feelings forbid it in every respect. Can I speak plainer?
Mr. Collins: You are uniformly charming!


Mrs. Bennet: Lizzy declares she will not have Mr. Collins, and Mr. Collins begins to say he will not have Lizzy!
Mr. Bennet: What am I to do on the occasion? It seems a hopeless business.

 An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr Collins. And I will never see you again if you do.
~Mr. Bennet


 Aye, do! Do! Take him away and feed him, for he's been in high dudgeon all morning!
~Lydia


Mrs. Bennet: Oh, Mr. Collins!
Mr. Collins: I am resigned. Resignation is never so perfect, as when the blessing denied begins to lose somewhat of its value in our estimation. Until tomorrow then, madam. I take my leave.
Mrs. Bennet: Oh, Mr. COLLINS! (weeps copiously)

Memorable Quotes from Episode One

Mrs. Bennet: Oh Mr. Bennet, how can you be so tiresome?! You must know that I’m thinking of his marrying one of them!
Elizabeth: For a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
Mrs. Bennet: Yes, he must indeed! And who better than one of our five girls?


Mr. Bennet: Visit him? Oh no, no, I see no occasion for that.
Mrs. Bennet: Oh, Mr. Bennet!
Mr. Bennet: Go yourself with the girls. Or, still better, send them by themselves.
Mrs. Bennet: By themselves?!
Mr. Bennet: Aye, for you’re as handsome as any of them. Mr. Bingley might like you best of the party.


I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I shall write to Mr. Bingley, informing him that I have five daughters, and he’s welcome to any of them that he chooses. They’re all silly and ignorant like other girls. Well, Lizzy has a little more wit than the rest. But then, he may prefer a stupid wife, as others have done before him. There, will that do?
-Mr. Bennet


If I could love a man who would love me enough to take me for a mere 50 pounds a year, I should be very well pleased. But such a man could hardly be sensible, and you know I could never love a man who was out of his wits.
–Elizabeth


I am determined that nothing but the very deepest love will induce me into matrimony. So, I shall end an old maid, and teach your ten children to embroider cushions and play their instruments very ill!
–Elizabeth (to Jane)


Mrs. Bennet: Bingley’s wealth is nothing to his. Ten thousand a year, at least! –Don’t you think he’s the handsomest man you’ve ever seen, girls?
Elizabeth: I wonder if he would be quite so handsome if he was not quite so rich?


Elizabeth: The very rich can afford to give offense wherever they go. We need not care for their good opinion.
Mrs. Bennet: No, indeed!
Elizabeth: Perhaps he is not so very handsome, after all?
Mrs. Bennet: No, indeed! Quite ill-favoured.


Mr. Bingley: Come, Darcy. I must have you dance. I must. I hate to see you standing about in this stupid manner. Come, you had much better dance.
Mr. Darcy: I certainly shall not. At an assembly such as this? It would be insupportable. Your sisters are engaged at present, and you know perfectly well it would be a punishment to me to stand up with any other woman in the room.”
Mr. Bingley: Good ____ Darcy, I wouldn’t be as fastidious as you are for a kingdom! Upon my honor, I never met so many pleasant girls in my life! And several of them uncommonly pretty.
Mr. Darcy: You have been dancing with the only handsome girl in the room.
Mr. Bingley: Darcy, she is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld. Look, look. There’s one of her sisters. She’s very pretty too. And I daresay, very agreeable.
Mr. Darcy: She is tolerable, I suppose. But she’s not handsome enough to tempt me. Bingley, I’m in no humor to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. Go back to your partner, enjoy her smiles. You are wasting your time with me.


Mrs. Bennet: And I daresay, the lace on Mrs. Hurst’s gown—
Mr. Bennet: No lace, no lace, Mrs. Bennet, I beg you!


Mr. Bingley: Darcy, I shall never understand why you go through the world determined to be displeased with everything and everyone in it.”
Mr. Darcy: And I will never understand why you are in such a rage to approve of everything and everyone that you meet.


Jane: He is just what a young man ought to be, Lizzy. Sensible, lively, and I never saw such happy manners!
Elizabeth: Handsome, too—which a young man ought to be if he possibly can. And he seems to like you very much, which shows good judgment. [No], I give you leave to like him. You’ve liked many a stupider person.


Jane: …And even Mr. Darcy, you know, may improve on closer acquaintance.
Elizabeth: Do you mean he’ll be in humor to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men? Never! (Imitating Darcy) ‘She is tolerable, I suppose, but not handsome enough to tempt me.’
Jane: It was very wrong of him to speak so.
Elizabeth: Ha, indeed it was—a capital offense.


Lydia: A ball? Who’s giving a ball? Oh, I long for a ball, and so does Denny!
Kitty: And so does Sanderson… don’t you, Sanderson?
Sanderson: I d-do indeed. Most passionately. (Sniffles)
Lydia: Oh, little Sanderson, I knew you would.

Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance, you know. There will always be vexation and grief; and it is better to know in advance as little as possible of the defects of your marriage partner, is it not, now?
-Charlotte Lucas


Sir William: What a charming amusement for young people this is, Mr. Darcy. Nothing like dancing, you know. One of the refinements of every polished society.
Mr. Darcy: And every unpolished society.
Sir William: Sir?
Mr. Darcy: Every savage can dance.
Sir William: Oh, yes… yes, quite.


Caroline Bingley: I believe I can guess your thoughts at this moment.
Mr. Darcy: I should imagine not.
Caroline Bingley: You are thinking how insupportable it would be to spend many evenings in such tedious company.
Mr. Darcy: No indeed, my mind was more agreeably engaged. I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow.
Caroline Bingley: And may one dare ask whose are the eyes that inspired these reflections?
Mr. Darcy: Miss Elizabeth Bennet’s.
Caroline Bingley: Miss Elizabeth Bennet? I am all astonishment!


Mr. Bennet: Well, my dear, if Jane should die of this fever, it will be comfort to know that it was all in pursuit of Mr. Bingley, and under your orders.
Mrs. Bennet: Oh, nonsense! People do not die of little trifling colds!


Our life holds few distinctions, Mrs. Bennet, but I think we may safely boast that here sit two of the silliest girls in the country.
-Mr. Bennet


Mrs. Hurst: Well, we must allow her to be an excellent walker, I suppose. But her appearance this morning—she really looked almost wild.
Caroline: I could hardly keep my countenance. What does she mean by scampering about the country because her sister has a cold? (laughs) Her hair, Louisa!
Mrs. Hurst: Her petticoat! I hope you saw her petticoat, brother. Six inches deep in mud, I’m absolutely certain.


Caroline: Miss Bennet despises cards. She is a great reader, and has no pleasure in anything else.
Elizabeth: I deserve neither such praise nor such censure—I am not a great reader, and take pleasure in many things.


Mr. Bingley: But all young ladies are accomplished. They sing, they draw, they dance; speak French and German, cover screens, and I know not what.
Mr. Darcy: There are not half a dozen who would satisfy my notion of an accomplished woman.
Caroline: Oh, certainly. No woman can be really esteemed accomplished who does not also possess a certain something in her air, in the manner of walking, in the tone of her voice, her address and expressions.
Mr. Darcy: And to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.
Elizabeth: I am no longer surprised at you knowing only six accomplished women, Mr. Darcy. I rather wonder at your knowing any.


Elizabeth: Mamma, you mistake Mr. Darcy’s meaning.
Mrs. Bennet: Do I? He seems to think the country nothing at all! Confined? Unvarying? I would have him know we dine with four and twenty families!


Caroline: Miss Eliza Bennet. Let me persuade you to follow my example and take a turn about the room, it’s so refreshing. (Elizabeth gets up and takes a few steps around the room with Miss Bingley.) Will you not join us, Mr. Darcy?
Mr. Darcy: That would defeat the object.
Caroline: What do you mean, sir? What on earth can he mean?
Elizabeth: I think we would do better not to inquire.
Caroline: Nay, we insist on knowing your meaning, sir!
Mr. Darcy: Why, that your figures appear to the best advantage when walking, and that I might best admire them from my present position.


Mr. Darcy: I believe every disposition has a tendency to some particular evil.
Elizabeth: Your defect is a propensity to hate everyone.
Mr. Darcy: While yours is willfully to misunderstand them.